Locum Tenens Chronicle

Locum Tenens Chronicles

Week 1 (January 5-9,2009)
I survived my first week of locum tenens in Columbus, 5 to go with a break for a week to go to DC for Rock O's inauguration. Whew! I need good food and adult conversation so I'm going out with Mary tonight for fine dining at the FAB downtown. I loved seeing the grand kids everyday, but you know, they eat chicken fingers, macaroni and cheese, and that stuff, thank goodness they like sushi so we went out for that midweek. They are lovely and delightful, full of the day's stories of peers getting spacers and braces, of so and so fighting, of who was at basketball practice, and spelling and math, and reading assignments. They are excited about their orthodontist appointments and can't wait to get spacers and braces just like the others. They demand your full attention when they report on the day's events. I was completely ignored, I was a zero there, so I'm going back to my dear friends to be reminded of who I am. But then I had the greatest time, just hanging out with them and witnessing how they handle their day to day world. They are so cheerful and full of excitement, bubbling with enthusiasm about the littlest thing. And they smell so good and so soft when they hug and kiss, you are just grateful they are there. And I learned that Mack hates to take a bath, so it is scheduled, and it is an event. He takes occupancy of the master's bathroom for almost an hour,takes a lingering luxurious bath, splashes and plays, sings even, and then emerges to be kissed and fussed over by everyone. What a charmer! And Rah Rah is the big sister, helping with spelling homework,  cutting his meat, answering his questions, and to everyone, a know-it-all, and facilitator/dictator,a nosy busybody, already with opinions about everything, I just adore her!  
So between this and interaction with the chronic psychiatric patients, most with impoverished ideas and concrete speech, I haven't talked with anyone all week.
Otherwise, the job doesn't require any talent and the working environment is all too familiar, reprising the conditions of the State Hospital that I just left. These tax funded institutions are so overwhelmed with service demands, inadequate resources, staffing problems, and regulatory pressures threatening program funding and jobs, that people who work there have become numb and no longer pay attention to one another as individuals. Everyone is just busy getting the job done, there is no time for niceties, no time to be gracious, no time to get to know anyone. I met the Medical Director for less than 5 minutes, just enough time to introduce herself and the person I can ask if I have any questions, and to hand me a loose orientation pamphlet of their computerized medical record. I was not given a patient schedule for the first day, so I can familiarize myself with their procedures and especially the computer record, but the system was down for most of the day, and the clinic was paralyzed. They sent the patients home without renewing their medication prescriptions. I asked if I can write them and I was told, I can't because they have no manual system in place that will track it. So the next day I had a full medication follow up schedule of 22 patients and I had to learn the computer charting at the same time. That's the way it is. A retired former staff psychiatrist started with me working half time, and that's the medical staff for the clinic now, when they used to have 5 psychiatrists working there. The rest of the services is provided by a Nurse Specialist and a PA.  I have a 1 hour lunch break and JayJay's house is just a mile away, so I let myself in and eat whatever leftover is in the fridge for lunch, check my email and watch CNN. Very nice. Locum tenens set me up in a studio suite at the Marriott Residence Inn, surrounded by 2 malls, movie theaters and many restaurants, and I have a PT Cruiser rental car from them too. So it's a good deal, an easy way to replenish my slush fund of which I generously helped myself with to finance my indulgences to celebrate my retirement.
After this stint, I'll be in NYC for my opera season.